A couple of days ago, my last period was strangely subdued. One girl had a headache, another girl put her head on her desk and wouldn't open up about whatever was bothering her, another student was sad and opened up to me about all sorts of things (a friend was mad at him at lunch, he feels like he doesn't have any friends and can't be himself, and he's bummed he doesn't have a girlfriend), and the other three students were just eerily quiet. During that class period I decided I would rather have a wild, crazy class, than that scary quiet class.
As a way to lighten the mood, I told my class I was going to play a song for them. I told them to listen carefully to the words as I pushed play for Ingrid Michaelson's "Be Okay."
*silence*
*awkward stares*
*no change in atmosphere*
I personally love that song, but we aren't in Kansas (or Utah) anymore my friends! I used to play songs for my students all the time and some would sing along and laugh at my silly song choices. This is a different crowd and one student finally said,
"If you want to make us happy, you need to play rap music."
#shutdown #newculture #notinkansasanymore
-Ms. Damron-
Wednesday, September 13, 2017
Monday, September 11, 2017
"Stay Bubbly"
Let me introduce Monica - a sped teacher who also attended Brigham Young University (BYU) and recently moved here from Utah Valley. Her husband is attending Washington University and miraculously we are working at the same school. I don't believe in coincidences as big as this one, so I KNOW that Monica and I were meant to meet and work at the same school. It's fun because Monica was in the same cohort as the student teacher I had exactly one year ago. She lovingly calls me her "BYU mentor" all the way in the midwest. I of course love that. #gocougars
We have quickly bonded over the culture shock of moving from a fairly conservative suburban area to an inner city with a lot of diversity. Just this afternoon we were discussing a new cultural discovery: students here have to have the last word. I used to be able to calm a child or at least distill an argument with one or two prompts and a calm voice. Teacher presence was an effective strategy and considering I had established rules/routines and moved around the classroom a lot, I had a decent grasp on classroom management and didn't have extreme behavior issues.
Cue the new setting: today I had a student lose it on another student (who in all honesty may have deserved it, but then again, who deserves to be yelled at?) who apparently kept making comments and annoying him. I intervened by placing myself between the two students (who were sitting in desks) and calmly telling the yelling student to calm down, stop yelling, tell me what happened, etc. I was a glass wall that he saw right through. He continued his rant as he packed up his bag and walked out of my classroom. He never even looked at me. #cool
This particular situation hasn't happened until today, but I have been overlooked maybe 5 or 6 times in the past three weeks while students finish their conversations. #wut #norespect
ANYWAY, last Tuesday Monica and I were returning to the school in the afternoon to attend a student's volleyball game #support #buildingrelationships, when one of the instructional coaches asked me if I would be willing to be in charge of a club (National Honor's Society). It's apparently more about a tutoring opportunity than anything else. I had been willing to be in charge of a club, but didn't know what was available. I said I would think about it. The instructional coach then told me I was one of their first draft picks. I jokingly told her that I didn't know if I believed her considering I am a first year teacher and it probably means no one else wanted it. She then looked very seriously at both of us and said, "Listen. There is a stigma in [this] district and people get really negative about things. You girls need to stay bubbly. STAY BUBBLY."
Monica and I walked away deciding we would make that our motto this year. Despite what happens or how often we face the challenges of a new district, culture, demographic, etc. we will "stay bubbly."
-Ms. Damron-
Wednesday, August 30, 2017
A millenial's perspective
I love my phone. You could easily say I fall into the category of "obsessed and borderline addicted" to my phone. I don't like it when it's in the other room. I don't like it when it's on the kitchen table and I'm on the couch. BUT I KNOW WHEN TO BE POLITE.
I don't wear headphones while my teacher is talking. I don't blast music through my headphones while my teacher is talking. I don't take a phone call on speaker phone when I'm two feet away from my teacher who is talking and going over the assignment. I also don't pretend that I can't hear my teacher when she asks me to take off my headphones and put my phone away. I also also don't play a game while wearing my headphones while the teacher is talking.
All of the above incidences have happened - in the last two days.
Phone issues with teenagers are not a new challenge unique to this area or demographic. My last school had issues with this all the time! Still, they fell on the side of phones being banned from school and therefore not allowed to be in class, in the hallways, etc.
One of the biggest culture shocks here was the obvious phone usage in the halls (and in the classrooms). Students are taking pictures, talking on the phone, texting, snapping, etc. in the halls AND IN THE CLASSROOM while the teacher is teaching. Students position themselves in a seat by an outlet so that they can charge their phone during class. Students straight up ignore the teacher's instructions to put the phones away. Students take pictures of each other across the room in the middle of a lesson (I've seen this in my co-taught class).
**I do want to note that I realize that the power is in the teacher's expectations. I co-teach in a class where excessive phone usage is not a big issue. This class is also full of freshmen who are young and slightly more amenable to teacher demands.**
Today I had two interesting experiences.
(1) A student entered my classroom with his headphones in and music on (this was my first mistake). Class started and students were expected to complete the warm up assignment on the board. His music was audible through his headphones a couple of feet away. He ignored my prompts to take his headphones out and put his phone away. While discussing the warm up and prompting him to get started, he TOOK A PHONE CALL ON SPEAKER PHONE. I was truly appalled. What was happening at this point? I made an effort to "guide" his hand toward hanging up and putting his phone away, but I'm not allowed to touch the student or his property, so I couldn't really do anything. I attempted to give prompts and ignore his behavior (he was clearly testing me) while also praising the surrounding kids for ignoring and working hard on the task at hand. The student eventually took out his headphones, but later used his headphones during the independent practice (which I told him he could do). He still kept the headphones in while I talked to him.
(2) Today was our school's first Character Ed Advisory period (held once a month). Two teachers are given 25 random students and are supposed to lead character building lessons. While I introduced the discussion topic and welcomed the kids to the class, at least 4 kids had BOTH headphones in their ears. We were creating our class norms (rules) together (with very little success - kids were not responding at all) when a kid mentioned phones. As I broached the topic of politeness with phones and when to use them or not, I had to ask kids, some MORE THAN THREE times, to take out their headphones and put their phones away. One kid heard me, then purposely chose to keep his headphones in. My partner teacher went over to him and asked him to put his phone away. He pretended not to hear her and continued to play his game until she finally got through. Other kids were giggling at this point.
Here's the main issue people - I never wanted to sound like the older generation (no offense to my "older generation" friends) that say things like, "Kids and their phones - they are obsessed. They are so disrespectful. They can't even have real conversations...etc. etc." But I get it. I am truly shocked at the audacity of kids to blatantly disrespect teachers with regards to phone use. What is HAPPENING with kids these days? How do we instill general politeness in a generation of device-addicted teenage youths?
S.O.S.
Help.
#why
-Ms. Damron-
I don't wear headphones while my teacher is talking. I don't blast music through my headphones while my teacher is talking. I don't take a phone call on speaker phone when I'm two feet away from my teacher who is talking and going over the assignment. I also don't pretend that I can't hear my teacher when she asks me to take off my headphones and put my phone away. I also also don't play a game while wearing my headphones while the teacher is talking.
All of the above incidences have happened - in the last two days.
Phone issues with teenagers are not a new challenge unique to this area or demographic. My last school had issues with this all the time! Still, they fell on the side of phones being banned from school and therefore not allowed to be in class, in the hallways, etc.
One of the biggest culture shocks here was the obvious phone usage in the halls (and in the classrooms). Students are taking pictures, talking on the phone, texting, snapping, etc. in the halls AND IN THE CLASSROOM while the teacher is teaching. Students position themselves in a seat by an outlet so that they can charge their phone during class. Students straight up ignore the teacher's instructions to put the phones away. Students take pictures of each other across the room in the middle of a lesson (I've seen this in my co-taught class).
**I do want to note that I realize that the power is in the teacher's expectations. I co-teach in a class where excessive phone usage is not a big issue. This class is also full of freshmen who are young and slightly more amenable to teacher demands.**
Today I had two interesting experiences.
(1) A student entered my classroom with his headphones in and music on (this was my first mistake). Class started and students were expected to complete the warm up assignment on the board. His music was audible through his headphones a couple of feet away. He ignored my prompts to take his headphones out and put his phone away. While discussing the warm up and prompting him to get started, he TOOK A PHONE CALL ON SPEAKER PHONE. I was truly appalled. What was happening at this point? I made an effort to "guide" his hand toward hanging up and putting his phone away, but I'm not allowed to touch the student or his property, so I couldn't really do anything. I attempted to give prompts and ignore his behavior (he was clearly testing me) while also praising the surrounding kids for ignoring and working hard on the task at hand. The student eventually took out his headphones, but later used his headphones during the independent practice (which I told him he could do). He still kept the headphones in while I talked to him.
(2) Today was our school's first Character Ed Advisory period (held once a month). Two teachers are given 25 random students and are supposed to lead character building lessons. While I introduced the discussion topic and welcomed the kids to the class, at least 4 kids had BOTH headphones in their ears. We were creating our class norms (rules) together (with very little success - kids were not responding at all) when a kid mentioned phones. As I broached the topic of politeness with phones and when to use them or not, I had to ask kids, some MORE THAN THREE times, to take out their headphones and put their phones away. One kid heard me, then purposely chose to keep his headphones in. My partner teacher went over to him and asked him to put his phone away. He pretended not to hear her and continued to play his game until she finally got through. Other kids were giggling at this point.
Here's the main issue people - I never wanted to sound like the older generation (no offense to my "older generation" friends) that say things like, "Kids and their phones - they are obsessed. They are so disrespectful. They can't even have real conversations...etc. etc." But I get it. I am truly shocked at the audacity of kids to blatantly disrespect teachers with regards to phone use. What is HAPPENING with kids these days? How do we instill general politeness in a generation of device-addicted teenage youths?
S.O.S.
Help.
#why
-Ms. Damron-
Wednesday, August 23, 2017
Popularity Contest?
I am determined to maintain a decent bedtime, so I have to be in my bed in 12 minutes - which seems impossible considering I still need to do the getting ready for bed part - so that's cool. :/
I don't want to forget this small bright moment while it lasts, so here's a story for you.
While I was at my door today (all teachers are expected to be at their doors inviting students in and monitoring the halls), a teacher in my hall passed by and said,
"You are winning the popularity contest! What are you doing in that room?!!!"
She then leaned in and said that one particularly difficult student likes me and THAT is a victory for sure.
I stopped by her classroom after school to introduce myself because I didn't even know her name yet and she said that she has had several students TODAY tell her that they really like me and my class. She asked what kind of snacks I was passing out or what was going on, but she joked that I was winning the popularity contest!
In all seriousness though, she then talked about developing relationships and how important that is. She told me that those students' reactions is a sign that I am a good teacher [meaning I build relationships].
Talk about a solid first week of school.
-Ms. Damron-
P.S. 8 minutes until bedtime...
I don't want to forget this small bright moment while it lasts, so here's a story for you.
While I was at my door today (all teachers are expected to be at their doors inviting students in and monitoring the halls), a teacher in my hall passed by and said,
"You are winning the popularity contest! What are you doing in that room?!!!"
She then leaned in and said that one particularly difficult student likes me and THAT is a victory for sure.
I stopped by her classroom after school to introduce myself because I didn't even know her name yet and she said that she has had several students TODAY tell her that they really like me and my class. She asked what kind of snacks I was passing out or what was going on, but she joked that I was winning the popularity contest!
In all seriousness though, she then talked about developing relationships and how important that is. She told me that those students' reactions is a sign that I am a good teacher [meaning I build relationships].
Talk about a solid first week of school.
-Ms. Damron-
P.S. 8 minutes until bedtime...
Tuesday, August 22, 2017
Snapshots
Surprise surprise - I should be doing some sort of work (in all fairness, I tried to set up my website but I couldn't log in - that is NOT a surprise), but here we are again. Blogging. I regret nothing.
My first two days of instruction I didn't have posted rules and part way through my most difficult class, I realized I would have to change my lesson because a couple of students had to leave early to catch a special bus and I really wanted them to be there for my growth mindset lesson. In lay person terms - posted rules and explicit instruction about said rules is very common to include during the first day of class. I did nothing that I normally do on the first day and I didn't hate it, but I felt a little naked. Teaching and posting expectations is like your defense. It's your safety net, your structure, your back up, your everything. I didn't create my rules because I needed to meet my population. I was dealing with a new demographic and I had to feel it out. After the first round of A/B classes, I felt like I knew what I was getting into. I didn't have a black hole in my vision of what this school year would be like regarding my students. I finally had a small sliver of first impressions and that could get me through the beginning phase of being a new teacher.
In hopes of creating a mental picture, these are some snap shots of my first day(s) at my high school in an inner city:
There is no central air conditioning. Classrooms have window units and most of them work. If yours doesn't work, you are pretty much forced to find another classroom because the sweltering heat is not conducive to any type of learning. Fortunately, my window unit has worked just fine. Along those same lines, it can be hard to hear kids because the window unit is blasting all the time.
The hallway, stairways, and bathrooms are truly warm and muggy, but the staff bathroom feels like the heat is turned on high. I will be in the bathroom (which is located on the 4th floor - I am on the 2nd floor) for less than 5 minutes and will leave with a fine sheen of sweat all over my body and particularly my forehead and upper lip.
My class sizes are just right: 6-9 students. I was shocked (and nervous) to discover that I would be teaching every grade. I thought I was just getting grades 9/10. For some reason, that was comforting to me. I have taught middle school and those grades seemed closer to my comfort zone. My
Pre-Algebra class has mixed 9/10 graders (mostly 9th graders) and my Geometry classes have 11/12 graders (mostly 11th graders). With the exception of a couple of sassy upper classmen, my students worked hard and were respectful.
One 12th grader said within the first 10 minutes of class, "So was your school in Utah mostly white kids?" *after a short pause of shock* "Well, I wouldn't classify it as primarily anything." "What I'm asking is if there were mostly white kids in your school? Or were there black people?" "Well, I guess you could say it was primarily Caucasian with a larger Hispanic population..." "Okay, so it was mostly white with maybe a couple of black kids. WELL, in case you haven't noticed, there are mostly African-American students at this school, so that's what you're going to get."
Um. Yes. Thank you kindly for pointing that out.
And in case you were wondering, demographic-wise, out of my 30(ish) students, maybe 5 of them are Caucasian. Our school has a fairly diverse population though, including a large number of ELL (English Language Learners) kids. It's neat to hear that kids are from Afghanistan, the Congo, Rwanda, Mexico, etc.
*And just so you know - I am really enjoying teaching all grades. I'm excited to see where the year takes us!*
I am BEYOND blessed to have a promethean board (a smart board) that works well, is good quality, and allows my classroom to have so much more than whiteboards (or in my case - chalkboards) can provide. This board also has the speakers on the side, which my last promethean board did not. #win It also feels so good to be familiar with something considering how unfamiliar I am with everything else.
I basically lived a paperless classroom life for the first few days because I didn't know how to print anything and now that we have to bring our own paper to copy machines and I didn't know how to sign in to the copiers (and I don't have my chip yet), I was just nervous and never had time to figure it out. Today I got both a classroom printer (another WIN) and made my first copies. It feels good to finally figure out a few things!
I truly DO NOT like our email system (Outlook - not a gmail based email) or grading system/IEP program. These are not user friendly or aesthetically pleasing programs. I kind of avoid my emails because the set up isn't my favorite (but don't worry - I'm still a professional that reads and sends emails) and I have no clue how to use my "grade book" application other than to take attendance. I never thought I would say that I miss PowerSchool, but I do. The screens seemed brighter (that could be because we had Mac computers, not just Dell) and the icons were all right where I could easily access them. Also, how wonderful was it to be able to view students' IEP goals and accommodations right on that application? I have to go through my classes and caseload and find all of their goals and accommodations and email them out to teachers. I usually emailed teachers to let them know that I was a case manager, but it makes me nervous that the general education teachers can't look up that information on their own. That puts a lot of pressure on me to make sure that they get all of that information and stay compliant and law-abiding.
Finally, I cannot tell you how kind people have been. Today my promethean remote stopped working and I couldn't find a button on the projector to turn it on. I figured it was the batteries and sent out an email asking for batteries. Supplies are hard to come by, so I offered to return the batteries. So many teachers offered batteries and some sent me an entire box (a little box, but still) of AAA batteries. One of the other math teachers came down during his prep to help me figure out my remote. Sadly nothing worked, but the tech guy was there within 15-20 minutes and he replaced my remote.
I love the people here - students, staff, teachers, etc. I am excited to be a teacher in this school district and will keep you posted on my first year in the inner city!
-Ms. Damron-
My first two days of instruction I didn't have posted rules and part way through my most difficult class, I realized I would have to change my lesson because a couple of students had to leave early to catch a special bus and I really wanted them to be there for my growth mindset lesson. In lay person terms - posted rules and explicit instruction about said rules is very common to include during the first day of class. I did nothing that I normally do on the first day and I didn't hate it, but I felt a little naked. Teaching and posting expectations is like your defense. It's your safety net, your structure, your back up, your everything. I didn't create my rules because I needed to meet my population. I was dealing with a new demographic and I had to feel it out. After the first round of A/B classes, I felt like I knew what I was getting into. I didn't have a black hole in my vision of what this school year would be like regarding my students. I finally had a small sliver of first impressions and that could get me through the beginning phase of being a new teacher.
In hopes of creating a mental picture, these are some snap shots of my first day(s) at my high school in an inner city:
There is no central air conditioning. Classrooms have window units and most of them work. If yours doesn't work, you are pretty much forced to find another classroom because the sweltering heat is not conducive to any type of learning. Fortunately, my window unit has worked just fine. Along those same lines, it can be hard to hear kids because the window unit is blasting all the time.
The hallway, stairways, and bathrooms are truly warm and muggy, but the staff bathroom feels like the heat is turned on high. I will be in the bathroom (which is located on the 4th floor - I am on the 2nd floor) for less than 5 minutes and will leave with a fine sheen of sweat all over my body and particularly my forehead and upper lip.
My class sizes are just right: 6-9 students. I was shocked (and nervous) to discover that I would be teaching every grade. I thought I was just getting grades 9/10. For some reason, that was comforting to me. I have taught middle school and those grades seemed closer to my comfort zone. My
Pre-Algebra class has mixed 9/10 graders (mostly 9th graders) and my Geometry classes have 11/12 graders (mostly 11th graders). With the exception of a couple of sassy upper classmen, my students worked hard and were respectful.
One 12th grader said within the first 10 minutes of class, "So was your school in Utah mostly white kids?" *after a short pause of shock* "Well, I wouldn't classify it as primarily anything." "What I'm asking is if there were mostly white kids in your school? Or were there black people?" "Well, I guess you could say it was primarily Caucasian with a larger Hispanic population..." "Okay, so it was mostly white with maybe a couple of black kids. WELL, in case you haven't noticed, there are mostly African-American students at this school, so that's what you're going to get."
Um. Yes. Thank you kindly for pointing that out.
And in case you were wondering, demographic-wise, out of my 30(ish) students, maybe 5 of them are Caucasian. Our school has a fairly diverse population though, including a large number of ELL (English Language Learners) kids. It's neat to hear that kids are from Afghanistan, the Congo, Rwanda, Mexico, etc.
*And just so you know - I am really enjoying teaching all grades. I'm excited to see where the year takes us!*
I am BEYOND blessed to have a promethean board (a smart board) that works well, is good quality, and allows my classroom to have so much more than whiteboards (or in my case - chalkboards) can provide. This board also has the speakers on the side, which my last promethean board did not. #win It also feels so good to be familiar with something considering how unfamiliar I am with everything else.
I basically lived a paperless classroom life for the first few days because I didn't know how to print anything and now that we have to bring our own paper to copy machines and I didn't know how to sign in to the copiers (and I don't have my chip yet), I was just nervous and never had time to figure it out. Today I got both a classroom printer (another WIN) and made my first copies. It feels good to finally figure out a few things!
I truly DO NOT like our email system (Outlook - not a gmail based email) or grading system/IEP program. These are not user friendly or aesthetically pleasing programs. I kind of avoid my emails because the set up isn't my favorite (but don't worry - I'm still a professional that reads and sends emails) and I have no clue how to use my "grade book" application other than to take attendance. I never thought I would say that I miss PowerSchool, but I do. The screens seemed brighter (that could be because we had Mac computers, not just Dell) and the icons were all right where I could easily access them. Also, how wonderful was it to be able to view students' IEP goals and accommodations right on that application? I have to go through my classes and caseload and find all of their goals and accommodations and email them out to teachers. I usually emailed teachers to let them know that I was a case manager, but it makes me nervous that the general education teachers can't look up that information on their own. That puts a lot of pressure on me to make sure that they get all of that information and stay compliant and law-abiding.
Finally, I cannot tell you how kind people have been. Today my promethean remote stopped working and I couldn't find a button on the projector to turn it on. I figured it was the batteries and sent out an email asking for batteries. Supplies are hard to come by, so I offered to return the batteries. So many teachers offered batteries and some sent me an entire box (a little box, but still) of AAA batteries. One of the other math teachers came down during his prep to help me figure out my remote. Sadly nothing worked, but the tech guy was there within 15-20 minutes and he replaced my remote.
I love the people here - students, staff, teachers, etc. I am excited to be a teacher in this school district and will keep you posted on my first year in the inner city!
-Ms. Damron-
Tuesday, August 15, 2017
Kind of like a first kiss
Guys. I legit do not have time to write this post, but just like a first kiss can only happen one time and then the feeling is gone, so is a teacher's first day in a new district - new school - new demographic, etc.
It's almost 9:00 pm, I haven't technically eaten dinner, and I don't know what I'm teaching tomorrow. That 5:30 am wake up call is coming oh so soon.
I needed to write this post to document what I'm feeling the night before school starts. I can't say I can even categorize what I'm feeling. I will have to write a catch-up post on all of the happenings over the past two weeks, but suffice it to say, I feel more tired than I have every felt at the beginning of the school year. After one of the most strenuous and demanding school years of my life, immediately followed by a jam packed summer concluding with moving and literally going to a meeting my first full day in St. Louis, I am TIRED. Exhausted. Fatigued. Sleepy. Overworked. Run-down. HAGGARD. *thank you thesaurus.com for helping me put into words how I'm feeling*
I don't necessarily feel nervous. I have the usual anxiousness that comes with a new school year, but I mostly don't know what to expect. I haven't outlined my management plan, because I don't know what will work for my high school, urban population. Will they laugh at my attempts to create structure? Will they flat out tell me that my consequences are stupid? Will they ignore me, hate me, and walk all over me? I guess that's a real possibility. Am I nervous because for the first time since I lived on an Indian reservation during my elementary years, I will be a minority? Does that even matter? Can I earn my students' respect and love just by being me? How hard will this school year really be classroom management-wise? I have so many questions - many of which I refuse to speak out loud because I don't want to sound ignorant or inept.
I chatted with the teacher next door for a few years asking her about how long she had been teaching and we launched into a conversation about her job history, including 20 years in St. Louis Public Schools. she started as an aide in a computer classroom at a middle school. She related that she had been sworn at, cussed at, and generally shot down by the students on a regular basis. Finally another teacher came in and used choice language to tell her that she needed to get her a** out of that chair and toughen up. She was too nice and she smiled too much. He told her that she shouldn't smile until Christmas. Then, in a matter-of-fact way, she said that she toughened up and it got better.
Me: "What do you mean you toughened up? Like you kept to your consequences?"
Neighbor: "No - they don't care about your consequences! I toughened up - I didn't let them walk all over me.:
Me: "Well what does that look like? I feel like I don't let my kids walk all over me, but I'm not so sure what that really looks like here. Do I actually stand my ground? I don't know..."
That's the first time I got a little nervous - in my naivety, am I truly in for a rude awakening? Only time will tell,
BUT here's the thing. I refuse to agree that you have to be hard, tough, and "not smile until Christmas" in order to earn respect and maintain control of your students. Regardless of the demographic: suburban, rural, urban, etc., kids are kids. They have different backgrounds maybe, but they need love, structure, and high expectations. I can absolutely do all of those things. In fact, I feel fairly confident in my ability to accomplish all of those things this year. Will there be moments of doubt, exhaustion, and break downs with lots of tears? Of course.
After sharing this story and my fears with the snapchat and instagram worlds, these are some of the comments I got today:
"You do you. She [the neighbor teacher] can be hard or whatever - but you do you."
"You need a UT vs St. Louis hashtag. Like all the differences, good and bad. You've got this.
"I don't believe in the whole 'don't smile until Christmas' mentality. You do your thing, girl!"
"Be your smiley self...take control of your classroom like you always do."
Thank you, everyone, for your support, love, and reminders that I don't need to change myself to see success in the classroom. My kids need ME, the frank, real, sometimes blunt, loving ME.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring (like literally - who knows - I've been writing this instead of lesson planning), but regardless, an adventure is awaiting!
-Ms. Damron-
It's almost 9:00 pm, I haven't technically eaten dinner, and I don't know what I'm teaching tomorrow. That 5:30 am wake up call is coming oh so soon.
I needed to write this post to document what I'm feeling the night before school starts. I can't say I can even categorize what I'm feeling. I will have to write a catch-up post on all of the happenings over the past two weeks, but suffice it to say, I feel more tired than I have every felt at the beginning of the school year. After one of the most strenuous and demanding school years of my life, immediately followed by a jam packed summer concluding with moving and literally going to a meeting my first full day in St. Louis, I am TIRED. Exhausted. Fatigued. Sleepy. Overworked. Run-down. HAGGARD. *thank you thesaurus.com for helping me put into words how I'm feeling*
I don't necessarily feel nervous. I have the usual anxiousness that comes with a new school year, but I mostly don't know what to expect. I haven't outlined my management plan, because I don't know what will work for my high school, urban population. Will they laugh at my attempts to create structure? Will they flat out tell me that my consequences are stupid? Will they ignore me, hate me, and walk all over me? I guess that's a real possibility. Am I nervous because for the first time since I lived on an Indian reservation during my elementary years, I will be a minority? Does that even matter? Can I earn my students' respect and love just by being me? How hard will this school year really be classroom management-wise? I have so many questions - many of which I refuse to speak out loud because I don't want to sound ignorant or inept.
I chatted with the teacher next door for a few years asking her about how long she had been teaching and we launched into a conversation about her job history, including 20 years in St. Louis Public Schools. she started as an aide in a computer classroom at a middle school. She related that she had been sworn at, cussed at, and generally shot down by the students on a regular basis. Finally another teacher came in and used choice language to tell her that she needed to get her a** out of that chair and toughen up. She was too nice and she smiled too much. He told her that she shouldn't smile until Christmas. Then, in a matter-of-fact way, she said that she toughened up and it got better.
Me: "What do you mean you toughened up? Like you kept to your consequences?"
Neighbor: "No - they don't care about your consequences! I toughened up - I didn't let them walk all over me.:
Me: "Well what does that look like? I feel like I don't let my kids walk all over me, but I'm not so sure what that really looks like here. Do I actually stand my ground? I don't know..."
That's the first time I got a little nervous - in my naivety, am I truly in for a rude awakening? Only time will tell,
BUT here's the thing. I refuse to agree that you have to be hard, tough, and "not smile until Christmas" in order to earn respect and maintain control of your students. Regardless of the demographic: suburban, rural, urban, etc., kids are kids. They have different backgrounds maybe, but they need love, structure, and high expectations. I can absolutely do all of those things. In fact, I feel fairly confident in my ability to accomplish all of those things this year. Will there be moments of doubt, exhaustion, and break downs with lots of tears? Of course.
After sharing this story and my fears with the snapchat and instagram worlds, these are some of the comments I got today:
"You do you. She [the neighbor teacher] can be hard or whatever - but you do you."
"You need a UT vs St. Louis hashtag. Like all the differences, good and bad. You've got this.
"I don't believe in the whole 'don't smile until Christmas' mentality. You do your thing, girl!"
"Be your smiley self...take control of your classroom like you always do."
Thank you, everyone, for your support, love, and reminders that I don't need to change myself to see success in the classroom. My kids need ME, the frank, real, sometimes blunt, loving ME.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring (like literally - who knows - I've been writing this instead of lesson planning), but regardless, an adventure is awaiting!
-Ms. Damron-
Thursday, August 25, 2016
Some post-it note stories (from 2015-2016)
I have lots of posts I've drafted in my head (and believe me, they are way past due), but today's post comes from several post it notes from last year. I frantically wrote down student quotes during class because I didn't want to forget them! Here's to finally recording them. :)
I love my job. I love being a teacher. I love teaching special education. I love teaching middle schoolers. These are only a few moments in the many that make me laugh (and sometimes cry). Let's hope I do a better job of sharing these stories as they come.
-Ms. Damron-
- In my 2nd period Math Resource class, we were discussing how big a pizza was and how many people could eat that pizza. I said, "What if they were teenage boys? They can eat a lot." The only male student in the class cleared his throat and said, "Ahem - we are called young adults."
- My 7th period Math Strategies class was beyond hysterical last year. They had me laughing on a regular basis. They also had more energy in their 7-8 bodies than should ever be allowed in a confined room. I was at the front of the classroom teaching and a student looked at me, wiggled his eyebrows, and said, "Feel the taunting power of my eyebrows!!!" I stared at him, burst out laughing, and immediately derailed the entire lesson. Every student in the room wanted to know what made Ms. Damron laugh hysterically, but the student in question loved that he had a secret with me and wouldn't tell anyone what he had done. I wasn't even sure what had happened myself. It was quite unexpected.
- On May 13, a student came up to me before class and said, "When will we stop doing things related to math?" I paused, looked at her very seriously and said, "May 26." The student scoffed at me, then walked away dejectedly. (I'm telling you - that last month was a struggle for all of us.)
- I remember a student was acting his usual ridiculously outrageous self and I gave him the teacher look. He looked at me mischievously and said, "What did I do?" I replied, "Do you want me to spell it out for you?" His innocent (and hilarious) response was, "No. I can't spell very well." I wanted to start a hashtag labeled, #spedprobs
- On another occasion, but a slightly more somber and eye opening one, I was helping this same student with his English homework. He was avoiding doing it, as usual. I said, "How can I get you to feel good about English?" His quick reply was, "Put me in a body that reads better." I think I stared at him for a few seconds because I caught a small glimpse into his view of himself. He truly felt (and knew) that he wasn't a strong reader. In his head, he figured if he could be someone else, he would be able to read better. What would it be like to have that sort of struggle? For a tiny moment, I saw himself through his eyes. I wish he could see himself through my eyes. What a different view.
I love my job. I love being a teacher. I love teaching special education. I love teaching middle schoolers. These are only a few moments in the many that make me laugh (and sometimes cry). Let's hope I do a better job of sharing these stories as they come.
-Ms. Damron-
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)