Starfish

We can give insomnia credit for this blog post. After three hours of no reprieve, I decided it would be best to get out of bed and do something to make myself tired. Let's just say the case of the Mondays will be real tough tomorrow.

My mom gave me a book titled, Starfish over a year ago and recommended I read it. The full title reads, "Lessons Learned from the Starfish: A Teacher's Journey with Children of Poverty." It took me over a year to read it, but I highly recommend it to any and all teachers. And parents. And anyone really. 

I have been struggling with a student in one of my classes and this book came at just the right time. Each chapter I read humbles me and reminds me that every single child has a story. Every child wants and craves love. 

In all honesty, I have had a true hard heart regarding this particular child. She has decided she hates me and my class, and it's basically reciprocated on my end. I can't even take a step back and look at ways to build a relationship because I don't want to. 

I have two schools of thought right now: 

(1) I can't connect with every student and maybe this is finally the student that will teach me that lesson.

(2) This child needs serious love and connection. She is testing me and if I can push through her wall, we can grow and learn together - and maybe, just maybe, I can show her that she can learn and be successful. 

Those are complete opposite schools of thought, and which idea wins depends on the minute of the day. 

Here are the author's concluding thoughts [which I desperately needed to read tonight],

I count my blessings every day for the children put in my care. Some will be well cared for at home, and some will be from broken homes. Some will be hopelessly poor, and some will feel safe. Some will be scared and some will be angry. Some will be happy, and some will be broken. But they will all be children who need someone to care about them, to listen to their needs, and to lift them up. I can teach them to love to learn, and I can teach them to care about others, but mostly, I can teach them that they matter - that every single one of them matters. 

Teaching is the hardest, most exhausting, sometimes painful, heart=breaking, but most fulfilling career you can ever choose. It's a calling, and it's not for the weak or puny or selfish. As I walk along the beach of life and see each little childlike starfish fighting for a chance to survive, for a chance to learn, for a chance to thrive, I am so grateful that I can be their caregiver, their mentor, their friend, their cheerleader, their coach, their confidant, their hand-holder. But mostly, I am so grateful every day that I have been chosen to be their teacher. I realize I can't save every small soul, but shoe who have touched my life, I love dearly. Oh, I do hope that others, who will lovingly reach out to the starfish in their care, will answer the call. God bless each precious little child, each precious starfish.  

Prayer is a real thing, and I will be praying for several things tomorrow, including the power to stay awake, to stay kind, and to have a change of heart to build a relationship with a broken and hurting angsty teenager. 

-Ms. Damron-