A wee bit stressed out...

I have been feeling a bit stressed lately. Don't get me wrong, I still love my job and wouldn't give it up for anything. But, this last week was kind of the last straw.

Special ed is basically

paperwork

PAPERWORK

P A P E R W O R K .

Oh - and you're still teaching during all of this. I don't actually mind all of the paperwork, and I'm pretty good at it, but still, it can get a little overwhelming sometimes. Utah is going through a 5-year audit to improve our compliance. Last year was YEAR #1 and it was a lot to handle. Let's just say my first year I hit the ground running...or tripping maybe?

Anyway, ever since I got back from Christmas, I have felt ill-prepared almost every day. I spend my Saturdays working on paperwork stuff, and then I prepare my lessons on Sunday, which I don't like doing, or at 10:30 pm after a long day at work. Often I will stay at work until past 6:00 pm and then come home just to prepare my lessons. What in the world am I doing wrong?!

This last Thursday all of the special ed teachers got subs and spent all day cooped up in a little room going through paperwork.

Just to give you an idea, every student in special ed has a "paper trail" so to speak. There is just a lot of paperwork to fill out when you get put in special ed! And of course the documents go in a certain order and you have to make sure that everything is signed and dated and filled out the way it should be,  etc. If a student has been in special ed for a long time, they have a pretty chunky folder by the time they get to middle school!

There were about 8 people in that tiny room going through folders, so I ended up going to a little side room for some extra space. Plus, I wanted to listen to music. :)
I am in charge of 31 folders, and I got through 12 folders on Thursday. That left me with 19 folders left.  When I went into the room where everyone was working, I found out that three of the teachers had already gone through all of their folders with the help of the district people who were going through their folders with them. Lucky! They gave me a hard time for leaving them and going into a different room and someone even said, "If only you had been in here...they [meaning the district ladies] would have gone through some of your folders too..."

You've got to be kidding me?! I did my best! Now, the three people who got the most help were first year teachers, so it makes total sense that the ladies from the district went through some of their folders with them, but still, to say it that way? I felt like I was being punished.

I just felt defeated. I stay late every day. I do my best to come up with lessons. I give my students 100% when I'm in class. (I don't tell them to leave me alone so I can get stuff done or ignore them during class time.) I try really hard to be on top of the IEPs and amendments and meetings and all the stuff my job requires. I just feel burnt out!

So I cried when I got in my car. And then I went home and crawled in bed and cried a little bit more.
I was scheduled to baby-sit my soon-to-be-step-nephew, so thankfully I had to force myself to get up and stop being a baby. And I felt much better and had a grand old time.

I don't want you to think I'm bitter or mad at anyone. There are just some days when nothing else will relieve your welled-up emotions than crying like a baby. Just yesterday (another Saturday), I went to work and blew threw my folders. I only have FOUR more folders to go through. I felt so productive! And I feel so much more relieved. Next Saturday I just might be able to plan lessons instead of working on paperwork. Wouldn't that be amazing!?

This has got to be the most random ranting ever and hopefully you made it to the end. Getting through that many folders yesterday was no small miracle. Heavenly Father certainly helped me out with that one! I'm actually feeling really excited about this next week! Bring it on!

-Ms. Damron-

I laughed so hard I cried...

Last Friday in my 2nd period class, I was helping a student finish an assignment. He was supposed to bring a small paper bag full of at least three items that described him. Surprisingly, he did NOT bring the required objects. (This is actually not a surprise at all - bless his heart.)
I told him we would just draw the objects he likes. I was helping him draw a few things because he is not the most...talented artist. (His hand writing is also very difficult to read.)

Anyway, after we had finished the project, he was just drawing on a piece of paper and all of a sudden, he showed me this picture and told me it was a cat:

I lost all control and started laughing uncontrollably. I laughed to the point of tears. Was I laughing at him? Not necessarily...but it might not have been the nicest thing to do. I just couldn't help myself! You may not think that the picture merits uncontrollable-laughing-so-hard-you-cry type of a reaction, but knowing the student, it makes sense.

Fortunately, I don't think I've scarred the student. He is now obsessed with drawing cats and wants to show me whenever he draws one!

---

Another funny moment happened this past Tuesday in my 7th period. While we were cleaning up, a students said,

"I'm wondering...if our brains exploded, would we still have to go to school? Because we wouldn't have a brain..."

So. Funny.

I love my students!

-Ms. Damron-

The first day of second semester merits a large piece of chocolate cake

I started today off well...

I prepared my lessons last night, after spending four hours at work on Saturday working on progress reports. (I watched the movie Knight and Day twice.) Because I prepared my lessons on Sunday, I had not printed anything or made any of the copies I needed for my lessons today. So lunch was spent furiously making copies and trying to figure out what I was going to do 2nd and 3rd period.
I didn't prepare enough material for my 1st period because of course I neglected to take into account that today was the FIRST day of the semester. Therefore teachers have not handed out assignments, so my students did not have homework to do.

Whoops.

I had quite a few new students in my 2nd period, so we filled the entire period going over procedures and rules along with the lesson material I had planned.

I was a little bit worried about my second period, but I think it is going to work out. The new students are fairly quiet and I think they will use the time wisely. At least that's how they were on day number one! We will see what happens as they get more comfortable in my class.
My 3rd period also grew in size. There are now 14 students. This may not seem like a lot, but at the beginning of the year, I started out with 3 or 4 in my 3rd period. Oh how the times have changed.


At about 2:15 pm, I started to get really tired. I couldn't stop yawning! It's hard to teach when you can't stop yawning.

Did I get to go home early? No. Don't be silly!

We did progress reports today!!! Soooooo exciting. And time consuming. And somewhat frustrating depending on if everyone has input the information they were supposed to.

I stayed until a little after 7:30 pm. My facilitator was also there until that time.

By the time I got home, I was totally exhausted and feeling somewhat subdued. It's depressing when you work a 12 hour day and then get home with the knowledge that you only have about two hours before it's time to go to bed and start all over!

Anyway, I celebrated my brother's birthday this weekend and guess what made my day when I got home tonight? The leftover chocolate cake. I don't think I've ever been so happy to see chocolate cake in my life! It was just what I needed. I made dinner, ate some cake while watching a movie with my roommate and now I'm ready to go to bed.

Wish me luck tomorrow!

-Ms. Damron-

A stolen pen

This is another 2nd period funny from before Christmas (12/3/12). I wrote this on a post-it note so that it would be forever remembered/so I would remember it word for word to write on this blog. :)

Student #1: Where did my pen go? (#2) stole my pen!

Student #2: I did not steal your pen! [stomps over to the rule chart] I follow rule #4! Keep hands, feet, and objects to yourself.

Student #3: (whispers to me) I stole the pen!

Student #1 is still complaining...

Student #3: Gentlemen - let's be calm. (admits to the pen thievery)

Student #1: YOU OWE ME AN APOLOGY.


This particular day seemed a little chaotic to me and there were only four students that day. Another conversation went like this:

Me: There are only four of you and this has been the most unproductive day!

Student #2: Not for me!

Me: You were pretending to walk across a sky scraper! (Think ninja and mission impossible - he was definitely imitating that)

Student #2: That's because I'm a secret agent (spins) - don't be jealous of this!

I just love these students!

-Ms. Damron-

Touching Moment

The end of Term 2 officially arrived today. It is all down hill starting on Monday.

I had a couple of students who stayed after school (on a Friday) to finish their book reports. Either that's dedication or extreme procrastination. When they asked if I was staying after school I wanted to cry because of course I will stay after school if they need extra time. But man did I want to go home and get in bed! I was just exhausted today. This has been a long work week! I go to work early and stay late (early being the time I'm supposed to be there: 7:30ish. I don't go earlier than I should...I actually don't get there on time as it is...) and then I go home and do more work. Yeah. It's been one of those weeks.

So, once after school came, I was not relieved of duty, but rather continued to trudge on for another hour.

One of the girls that stayed had finished her paper in a few minutes, but she had to wait for her brother, so she just kind of hung out in my classroom. Everyone else had left and she was getting ready to meet up with her brother when she said, "Thanks so much for helping me. It means a lot."
I non-chalantly said, "It's no big deal. Any time."
She emphasized one more time, "No. Really. Thank you so much. It means so much." This was when I noticed that her voice shook just a bit, and it is possible her eyes got a bit wet. I wanted so badly to give her a hug and tell her how much I cared about her. She apologized for being a punk at the beginning of the year and said thanks for everything.

During the hour she was there she said a few things that gave me a small picture of what it is like in home. She said she wished her mom would give her a pat on the back instead of saying, "You should have just stayed in READ 180 [the Special Ed reading class]." I also got the impression that there isn't a lot of support at home.

I told her that I liked her and she was welcome to come after school and hang out in my classroom any day that she needed to - except for Mondays because I have meetings on Mondays. She thanked me and left.

What a sweet moment. It's moments like those that bring me a little closer to the Spirit and make me so grateful to be where I am. Please take a moment to be grateful for those people in your life who have supported and loved you. We don't always know how blessed we are.

-Ms. Damron-

Book reports and end of term

I have book reports to grade, but it's been too long! (In other words, I am procrastinating.)

My lesson plans for my Writing Skills class have changed so drastically since last year. I know I'm going to look back and think, "What in the world was I doing? How did I survive? HOW DID MY STUDENTS SURVIVE?" haha I am assigning a lot more writing (which makes sense, I know). We wrote book reports at they are due before the end of term, which is tomorrow. Of course about 6 students have not handed them in yet.
One student asked me, "What would my grade be if I didn't hand in my book report."
Yeah. That didn't fly.

Funny story.

Last Friday, a mom came in with her son to talk to me. I had heard her out in the hall talking to some other teachers, so I knew she was just making the rounds. She asked me how her son was doing in my class. Was he making progress? How was his work?
I pulled out his class binder and opened up his journal (he is in my Writing Skills class). His hand writing is not neat. It is big and kind of hard to read. I showed the mom some of the assignments and she was not impressed. She went off on a mini rant and said something like this:

"Excuse my choice words here, but this is crap. You should see the art work he does at home! He can do so much better than this. And I am not afraid to say it in front of him. You have my permission to throw anything away that looks like this. I cannot believe you have been accepting this. You are a much nicer teacher than I would be!"

I was kind of cracking up (in a professional and not so obvious way - hopefully). This mom was on one! And I loved it. This student does need to step up his game. But man! To have your mom on fire like that. Yikes.

I did learn an interesting lesson though. I NEED TO PUSH MY STUDENTS MORE. I don't grade easy by any means, but I need to have higher standards for work. If I want it neat, then I need to have high expectations for neatness. This is definitely food for thought...

-Ms. Damron-