I have a special place in my heart for several students in my 7th period. One of them, whom we shall call Special Agent X, is one of my favorites. He has told me several times that he is "observing" in my class and reporting to someone somewhere on the happenings in my classroom. He calls me "Coach" and always covers his eyes and refuses to make eye contact with me in the hall. I know. Now you want to meet him.
On Friday, Special Agent X was sitting on one of the tables. (He likes to do things differently.) When we finished correcting the Math Minute (our self-start), I noticed that he was strategically placing chairs across the room to the table close to me. It took two chairs to get over to my table and he walked across them and then sat on the table near me.
What was his explanation?
"The floor is lava. I can't touch it."
Yup. That happened. And that happened for the rest of the period. I left my seat to do other things throughout the classroom, and he very carefully climbed over to a chair by a table with a computer on it. He refused to touch the ground.
I was passing around tickets (one of my rewards) and I noticed that my chair was dirty because he had squatted in my chair. He couldn't sit in it the normal way because, of course, his feet might touch the lava ground.
I got "mad" at him and said, "SPECIAL AGENT X!!!! YOU GOT MY CHAIR DIRTY!"
He apologized and climbed over to my chair to clean it off. I heard another student saying, "Special Agent X, are you using Ms. Damron's computer cover to clean off the chair?!"
**I don't know if you remember, but I made the computer covers in my classroom, and I am very particular in how my students take care of them. I make them fold the computer covers if that gives you an idea.**
Special Agent X shushed this student, and I told him I couldn't believe he would use my computer cover to clean off the dirt from his shoes! (Again, all of this actually happened.)
He tried to come up with a good excuse for using my computer cover, but I wasn't having it. I still had the roll of tickets in my hand and so I unraveled some and started "whacking" him with the tickets. (In case you're worried, they probably felt like feathers - nothing harsh.)
Special Agent X was perched on the edge of the table, and during this "whacking" the table that he was perched on started tipping over. He was still determined not to touch the ground though, so he somehow managed to stay on top of the table with the help of another student. Sadly, he lost a foot to the lava.
I was laughing so hard I was crying my eyes out.
He blamed me and actually found some rope in his backpack and tied his foot back to represent his "lost foot." He did make it back to the chair by the computer and worked diligently for the rest of the period.
At the end of the period, he used a piece of paper on the ground to slide across the floor towards my door. While I was doing my end-of-class reward, all I heard was a crash by my door and Special Agent X was on the floor. I'm afraid to say we lost him to the lava.
He will be sorely missed.
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It was absolutely hilarious. I told him I desperately hope he becomes some sort of agent when he gets older because he would be awesome at it!
-Ms. Damron-
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