Teacher Burnout

When I taught at my last school, nothing seemed like too much. I was in this weird bubble where I loved just about every single person I worked with, my students were validating (not perfect, but boy did we have fun), and I felt like I was really growing and making progress as a teacher. I could stretch my abilities as a teacher and I remember once thinking, "I can't believe I get paid for this. I am so lucky to have found a vocation that is truly my passion."

Fast forward to this year. I wouldn't say the inner city is what changed my perspective on teaching - necessarily. My last school year, despite being truly wonderful, was one of the most demanding (and rewarding) in my career. I was involved in quality professional development that inspired, motivated, and taught me how to be a better educator. I was trusted by administration and given leadership roles that helped me serve my fellow staff members while also finding joy in teaching and leading my peers. I had a delightful student teacher fall semester (my third one) who became a dear friend. My paycheck was the best it had ever been (again - let's not get carried away here - educator's are never paid what they are worth), I took actual vacations, and even received a few awards/recognition(s) from faculty and district. It was a really good year for me.

At the same time, last year was extremely trying. I felt prompted to get National Board Certification and with all of the demands of the year, I completed my national boards in about 3.5 months, while most people take a minimum of one year and up to five years. I have never been so stressed out about a certification. I still don't know if I have passed said national boards, but that is a blog post for another day. All of those good things mentioned above required extensive amounts of time. On top of all of that, I decided to move to another state. I had to search for and apply for jobs, network, apply for a Missouri teaching certificate, etc. My last few weeks of school were so consumed with National Boards and I still had not heard about a job (although I was rejected from a very large pool of possibilities). I finished the year with some of the sweetest memories of my career and I had no idea if I would even have the opportunity to teach again.

I received only one interview offer, and as the fates would have it, that is the school I was hired at. From the very beginning, this teaching position wasn't a passion, it was a job. And I hated my job.

This was such a new experience for me. Teaching has always been a passion of mine. I would talk to other teachers going through a hard time and they would tell me that I was so motivational and inspiring - I clearly loved what I did. So what was this nauseous feeling every time I turned the corner to my school? Why did I sit in the parking lot in my car waiting until the last minute to go inside?

The only rationalization I came up with is teacher burn out. After a crazy school year, moving twice this summer (once a few towns over and again a few states over) AND working as a mentor for a summer school program, I was mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. I arrived in St. Louis on a Monday and started meetings on a Tuesday. It wouldn't be until Labor Day (almost a month later), that I would actually have a week day off.

I will tell you where I am at emotionally, mentally, and physically in a blog post later on; I want to address teacher burnout. Until this year I didn't understand how teachers could feel like it was too much. I understood that teaching was demanding, but I always thought, "It's your job. Just do it!" My optimism and love for the job outweighed the magnanimous amount of commitment that teaching requires. I can think of three friends that might quit teaching in the middle of the this school year. THREE. In fact, three teachers at my school have already quit and left. I can think of about three more friends that are probably not going to return to teaching next year.
What has teaching become so that we are burning teachers out before they can truly embrace and perfect their craft? I know there are hard jobs out there - social work, medical professionals, retail, night shifts, etc. I get it. But HOLY COW. We are educating our children - citizens of the United States who will run (or ruin) our country in the future. There is something very wrong with a profession that drains the very souls out of its workers. Teaching is so validating. It is a beautiful, sacred vocation. For me, it has been a spiritual journey and I stand by that.

Still, this year has been unusually hard for MANY of my teacher friends - home in Utah and out here in the inner city. How can we fix this as a nation? How can I better support my friends? How can I better support myself? How much longer can I be an educator if this is the state of mind I'm in?

This probably isn't the last of the "teacher burnout" series I will write, but it's a starting point. Something is very wrong in our country regarding education and it is alarming on many levels. I sincerely thank those of you who support education. I particularly support those of you who believe that education starts in the family. Thank you for teaching your children to be kind, gracious, and TEACHABLE. That is truly a unique gift.

-Ms. Damron-