"...there isn't any other job I would rather be doing."

I have the privilege of sharing a hall with two of our new special education teachers. These two teachers bring such a light to our little corner of the school. Truly, we found some "diamonds in the rough" with these two gems.

We were all commiserating over the fact that we didn't want to be at work, but the teacher across the hall leaned over and said, "I'll tell you what though, there isn't any other job I would rather be doing."

I loved that. A lot.

Yes, work gets tedious sometimes and it can become just that, work. Teaching should be (and can be) so much more than just "work" though. I was truly grateful for that innocent and positive reminder, that of all the jobs in the world, this is the one I want to do the most.

-Ms. Damron-

Starfish

We can give insomnia credit for this blog post. After three hours of no reprieve, I decided it would be best to get out of bed and do something to make myself tired. Let's just say the case of the Mondays will be real tough tomorrow.

My mom gave me a book titled, Starfish over a year ago and recommended I read it. The full title reads, "Lessons Learned from the Starfish: A Teacher's Journey with Children of Poverty." It took me over a year to read it, but I highly recommend it to any and all teachers. And parents. And anyone really. 

I have been struggling with a student in one of my classes and this book came at just the right time. Each chapter I read humbles me and reminds me that every single child has a story. Every child wants and craves love. 

In all honesty, I have had a true hard heart regarding this particular child. She has decided she hates me and my class, and it's basically reciprocated on my end. I can't even take a step back and look at ways to build a relationship because I don't want to. 

I have two schools of thought right now: 

(1) I can't connect with every student and maybe this is finally the student that will teach me that lesson.

(2) This child needs serious love and connection. She is testing me and if I can push through her wall, we can grow and learn together - and maybe, just maybe, I can show her that she can learn and be successful. 

Those are complete opposite schools of thought, and which idea wins depends on the minute of the day. 

Here are the author's concluding thoughts [which I desperately needed to read tonight],

I count my blessings every day for the children put in my care. Some will be well cared for at home, and some will be from broken homes. Some will be hopelessly poor, and some will feel safe. Some will be scared and some will be angry. Some will be happy, and some will be broken. But they will all be children who need someone to care about them, to listen to their needs, and to lift them up. I can teach them to love to learn, and I can teach them to care about others, but mostly, I can teach them that they matter - that every single one of them matters. 

Teaching is the hardest, most exhausting, sometimes painful, heart=breaking, but most fulfilling career you can ever choose. It's a calling, and it's not for the weak or puny or selfish. As I walk along the beach of life and see each little childlike starfish fighting for a chance to survive, for a chance to learn, for a chance to thrive, I am so grateful that I can be their caregiver, their mentor, their friend, their cheerleader, their coach, their confidant, their hand-holder. But mostly, I am so grateful every day that I have been chosen to be their teacher. I realize I can't save every small soul, but shoe who have touched my life, I love dearly. Oh, I do hope that others, who will lovingly reach out to the starfish in their care, will answer the call. God bless each precious little child, each precious starfish.  

Prayer is a real thing, and I will be praying for several things tomorrow, including the power to stay awake, to stay kind, and to have a change of heart to build a relationship with a broken and hurting angsty teenager. 

-Ms. Damron-

"Sparkle"

I have had a GOOD couple of weeks teaching. Despite having the shortest winter break I've had in a long time, I came back feeling ready to go! It was a great feeling. I've also had such a great start to 2018. Having a prep period every day does AMAZING things. I am actually able to prepare lessons in advance! Who would have thought? haha
As well as being prepared lesson-wise, my lessons have been going really well. My students have been grasping content and we have been in a good flow. Class has been pretty chill, we've had fun, and kids are learning! I realize this will not last forever, but I am riding this wave while it lasts! Eventually I will have to do more than just lesson prep (IEPs are coming up, I need to write tests/test trackers, and I need to submit/update unit plans...), but I sure am feeling good about things right now!

I wanted to share a few cute stories before I forget them. This blog is my only memory-keeping outlet for teaching stories, so it's important to stay caught up.

Jan. 2018
*student raises hand*
Female student: Ms. Damron, I just have to get this off my chest...
Me: Okay...
Female student: Every time you start something new, your eyes just sparkle. And I'm sorry, but I just had to tell you.
*another student nods in agreement*
Me: You had to "get off your chest" the fact that every time I introduce something new I get really excited and my eyes sparkle?
Female student: Yes.

*internally (and externally) beaming because you better BELIEVE I took that as a compliment.

Dec. 2017
*student complains about school*
Male student: I don't know why I came to school today.
Female student: ...to get an EDUCATION?
*female student gives male student theeee most "NO DUH" look ever*

A few moments later
Male student: Ain't nobody walking past this class!
Female student: That's because everybody is learning but YOU.
*female student rolls eyes dramatically*

Dec. 2017
*student asks about math courses next year*
Me: You will take another algebra class next year and then you'll take geometry.
Female student: With you though, right?
Me: No. I don't teach that one. You'll have me the next year though.
Student: Nope. I'm not taking it. I'm going to specifically ask for you. I'm not taking another math class if you're not my teacher.


There have been SO many stories, but I need to do a better job of sharing them. I have to say that teaching is finally a passion again. We aaallll know it was a ROUGH beginning, but I am finding my groove and I love love LOVE my students. They make me laugh, bring me such joy, and challenge me every day. I'm grateful I have a job that stimulates my mind and allows me to serve others. I also enjoy the perks of days off! Three day weekends should be a weekly thing.

-Ms. Damron-

The Results

I realized that I had not changed my email address in my NBTC portal from my last work email, and of course I couldn’t remember my username and password. :/

I was wondering why I hadn’t heard anything, but after a few attempts, I finally logged into my portal and realized that the results were THERE. How long they had been there I’m not quite sure.

I downloaded my results in the evening around 11:00 pm, but decided not to look at them because I wanted to actually sleep and having “what if” questions go through my head in the case that I hadn’t passed wasn’t my idea of counting sheep and falling asleep quickly.

My sisters and I went to the gym and worked out then I opened my results while my sister made pancakes for breakfast. The first thing I read was “Your Status: Not Yet Achieved.”

*sigh*

Of course I cried for about 10 seconds, but then I reviewed my scores again to actually figure out what they were saying!

**Also, because disclaimers are needed in this day and age, I am sharing my results not to flaunt or shame myself, but because I'm a visual person and sharing the screenshots are way easier than typing all of this out!

My results were as follows:

In a nutshell, you need a 110 to pass and I got a 104. The leveling goes from a 1 to 4 with 4 being the highest. I scored 3s across the board except for Component 3, which I scored a 0.75. Comfort came in the fact that I scored fairly well in all categories except for the one that I scored abysmally low in. That score is a bit of an outlier and if you look at the feedback, it says, “You may wish to review the instructions to ensure you followed the directions for developing and submitting the entry.”

That makes me think that I missed a big idea or submitted something incorrectly. I need to call the NBTC support line to ask a few questions, but I’m planning on “banking” all of my scores except for the one that I failed. I’m not ready to re-take that component this year, but I have three years to submit a re-take and see if I passed. Choosing not to get right back into it and finish it this year is risky (because if I don't pass it the next time, I'm out of time), but I can’t handle that load this year. #newschool #newdistrict #newstate #teacherburnout

Overall I’m really proud of myself. The fact that I scored so well despite the circumstances I was in makes me feel great! I also said that I would be okay failing one component in order to learn about the re-take process and get more NBTC practice. I really like mentoring and helping others and perhaps this is another learning opportunity for me and will allow me to help others in the future. I also feel like when you are prompted to do something and these are the results, it was meant to happen. I gave it my very best and did well on every component, yet somehow missed something SO BIG that I scored below a 1.0 on Component 3? That seems strange.

I will have to do a little more research in order to figure out where I went wrong on Component 3, but come the 2018-2019 school year, I will try again! That means I won’t receive results determining if I received National Board Certification until two years from now, but right now is not the right timing. Let's also talk about the fact that I failed the one component I didn’t want to fail (the video recording component) and there’s no way my current student population is ready to be recorded. Starting off strong next year and only working on ONE component throughout the school year seems like a dream compared to this first experience though, so I'm geared up and ready to tackle that NEXT YEAR.

Thank you, truly, for supporting, encouraging, and believing in me throughout this experience. I’ve always been blessed to have wonderful friends near and far and I'm so grateful for you. 104 and 110 aren’t that far apart. How many obstacles in our lives aren’t really that far apart, we just need to try again?

Here’s to crushing goals and taking chances in 2018. J

Results TBA

The big question now is, did I pass all of the components and receive my National Board Certification?

The results are not in yet, but I have a couple of thoughts. If I were to give advice to anyone thinking about getting their National Board Certification, I would whole-heartedly say DO IT. I honestly became a better reflector through this process. More often, I find myself asking why we do things. Processes and routines don’t improve and grow unless someone asks why we do certain things. We often get stuck in our own comfort box and try not to move out of it. We ask our students to challenge their own thinking and do hard things; shouldn’t we challenge ourselves as well?

Real-life advice pieces include the following:

·      Find as many NBTC educators you can. Talk to them, email them, ask questions, and GET HELP AND SUPPORT. Start the reach-out process as soon as you decide that you want to get your certification. People are busy – you need to establish connections early in the game.

·      DO NOT PROCRASTINATE. I feel like I could end my advice right there. Basically, do the opposite of what I did. Haha

·      Keep a binder with all of the pdf instructions. It helps to have everything in one place so you can flip back and forth. Use those instructions as your drawing board. Mark those instructions up! Highlight, write notes in the margins, etc. Do whatever helps you decipher and translate the instructions.

·      Reflect. The best advice I got was that you are not demonstrating that you are a perfect teacher, you are demonstrating that you are a reflective teacher. If your video submissions showed students that are off-task or struggling, reflect on what you could have done better. Share insight on what you will change and modify next time. (But also, don’t send a video submission of your zoo animal class.)

·      You can pick and choose your best students, lessons, units, etc. This is supposed to be a spotlight on your teaching. Set yourself up for success! You don’t have to choose the wild class.

I wanted to write this out before I received my results because I don’t want the results to taint my before-impressions. I’m hoping I pass at least two of the components. In particular, I really want to pass the video submission component. Getting permission slips and video recording my students in my current school would be a NIGHTMARE. Please no. I think Component 2 (all about assessment and how I use that to impact my teaching) was my strongest component. Component 4 was a scrap-job miracle and I have no idea what to think about that. As for the exam, I think it could go either way. I think I passed, but I couldn’t bet money and necessarily win.

Overall, I’m glad for the experience. I discovered that my breaking point is higher than I thought. Despite doubting every teacher strength I thought I had, I never gave up. I don’t NEED this certification. I can get jobs without it. I don’t even get that much of a pay increase for having this certification. I don’t even know how much longer I will be in education. (I’m going through an educator mid-life crisis, but also, I’m hoping that marriage and family are somewhere in my 5-year plan?)

Part of me wants to fail at least one component so that when I help other educators in the future, I can share my experience and let them know that even though I didn’t pass the first time, I chose to examine my weak points, reflect, and try again.

I have a couple of sayings in my classroom: “I love a good challenge” and “We can do hard things.” Through my continued education and personal experiences, I hope I can show my students that I live those sayings and it has made me stronger than I was yesterday.